How to make mum crack in 8 easy steps

Here are eight easy steps, that are a sure fire way to crack this mamma.

  1. Never put anything back after you have played with it. Just walk away and go pull out another 100 toys in a different room.
  2. Cry about getting changed every. single. night. like it’s your damn right job. Even though every night in some form or another you actually go to bed in pyjamas.
  3. Refuse any meal that mum has made. Act like it is complete and utter poison. Instead request plain pasta or a tub of cottage cheese, like your some sort of dictating rock star.
  4. When you feel as though mum is feeling generous and has offered you treat ie. an ice cream.  As soon as the treat is finished beg and cry for another like she didn’t just see you inhale that ice cream in one breath.
  5. Whenever mum is in a hurry, get distracted by anything and everything and slow down to snail pace, then spill food all over your clothes or just simply poop!
  6. When its bed time, get out of bed at least eight times and pretend you have every symptom under the sun, feel sick, need another cuddle, cold, thirsty, want to dance. Any excuse will do!
  7. Do your best to milk mum for anything and everything when on a holiday. After all, all she wants to do is relax and enjoy herself, so one little whinge and you can pretty much have it.
  8. Make sure you give mum a random kiss on the cheek or tell her you love her, so that magically she forgets everything you have done that day to break her sanity. and allows you to stay another day. 

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