When you look at me now, I look like any other ordinary Mum who has been blessed with two beautiful, happy, healthy children. Some might say, a fertile women. But that’s not the whole story.
I once was that woman crying on the bathroom floor, asking when will it be my turn? I was the one who’s heart broke into a million pieces as I left each baby shower, yearning for me to be the one with the bump awaiting the arrival of my own baby. I was the one who constantly tried every gadget, remedy and drug only to be left with a broken heart and lots of doctors appointments that only made the hollowness even deeper.
I remember feeling empty, lost, longing and desperate, but now that I am on the other side the emotion is a bit like a haze, it’s still there and it will always be apart of my journey but I can’t quite feel or encapture the raw pain as deeply as I did on those dark and painful days.
Everyone’s story is so different and so is there outcome, but I do wish I could tell my past self that it will be ok, it will work out. You will be lucky enough to experience the amazingness that is motherhood. However I do understand for so many women they don’t get this happy ending and my heart goes out to them, as I can’t even begin to imagine how they feel. To all those women out there trying to conceive whether it’s your first child, second or third, I’m sending you all the baby dust and positive vibes.
Just remember everyone has a story and everyone has been on a journey.
Much love xx