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In today’s society there is so much pressure put on us mums. Or, is it simply us that have put this pressure on ourselves. Why must we feel the need to do it all? Be a good mother, a caring beautiful wife, continue to excel in our profession, all while raising a small household. In my experience something has to give and it’s normally us Mothers that end up suffering.

We no longer have a village around us to guide us when it comes to breastfeeding, sleeping or mothering in general. Most of us no longer are friends with everyone in our street. So gone are the days when your neighbour would bring over a home cooked meal or watch your kids play while you took a nap. We are either isolated from our extended family or they are working full time jobs and therefore are no longer able to help out as much as they would like. Sure they can call and give us advice but is it really the same as having someone there?

So instead, we get our information from health professionals, internet forums or good old Dr Google. In my experience, this just sets Mother’s up to fail, as it all becomes rather overwhelming. Every stage our babies go through is viewed as a problem and there is always a solution on how to “fix” this problem. But if that doesn’t work for you and your baby, you are left with a feeling of failure. This way of thinking can easily make you feel like your spiralling out of control and not a fit mother. But we have to find a solution because need the sleep, we need them to eat and we need a quick fix to their behaviours because we have to get back to doing it all. So we buy all the books, try all the programs, in the hope that we can ‘fix’ it and continue to do it all.

I tried this with my first baby. When he didn’t sleep I googled it, I read books, bought two programs and joined forums but nothing seemed to work. He just didn’t sleep. So I was left thinking what have I done wrong? Did I hold him too much? Teach him bad sleeping habits? I eventually realised that I needed to parent and respond to my son in a way that worked for us. If I had to get up and reassure him three times a night, then that’s what I did. If he needed to come into our bed at 3am, then that’s what we did. I decided to take a step back from work and give my full attention to being a wife and a good mum. This doesn’t mean I left work or didn’t fulfil my job. I just made sure that my family came first. I took away the pressure to do it all and give it all 110% and I’m so glad I did.

This time is so fleeting and before you know it, they will no longer need you like they need you today and that’s the day that I will go back to giving my profession all my attention. This time really is a blimp in the scheme of your life, so choose what makes you happy.

So mamma, hold your newborn as much as you want to. You won’t spoil them. Your toddler will go through stages of not eating anything but cheese and past, they won’t starve and it won’t last forever. {Just try not to cry when they say the meal is horrible or looks disgusting!} When it comes to sleep, some babies find it extremely easy and others it takes a lot longer, and that’s ok. They will get it eventually and it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or your baby! And above everything else, go with your instinct. Listen to all the advice, but do what feels right for you and your baby.

To your children you are the perfect mother, so what ever you need to do to get through with a small amount of sanity left, do it. Eat the chocolate, drink the coffee, binge TV! Look after yourself mamma, because you deserve it.

xx

When you look at me now, I look like any other ordinary Mum who has been blessed with two beautiful, happy, healthy children. Some might say, a fertile women. But that’s not the whole story.

I once was that woman crying on the bathroom floor, asking when will it be my turn? I was the one who’s heart broke into a million pieces as I left each baby shower, yearning for me to be the one with the bump awaiting the arrival of my own baby. I was the one who constantly tried every gadget, remedy and drug only to be left with a broken heart and lots of doctors appointments that only made the hollowness even deeper.

I remember feeling empty, lost, longing and desperate, but now that I am on the other side the emotion is a bit like a haze, it’s still there and it will always be apart of my journey but I can’t quite feel or encapture the raw pain as deeply as I did on those dark and painful days.

Everyone’s story is so different and so is there outcome, but I do wish I could tell my past self that it will be ok, it will work out. You will be lucky enough to experience the amazingness that is motherhood. However I do understand for so many women they don’t get this happy ending and my heart goes out to them, as I can’t even begin to imagine how they feel. To all those women out there trying to conceive whether it’s your first child, second or third, I’m sending you all the baby dust and positive vibes.

Just remember everyone has a story and everyone has been on a journey.

Much love xx

Layla’s Birth Story

On the 11th of April at 2:03am, I woke up with irregular Braxton Hicks. I attempted to go back to sleep, which resulted in a lot of tossing and turning. By 3am they started to feel a whole lot more regular and the pain has increased. So, I started to time them. First two were nine minutes apart, the second two seven minutes apart. I decided to wake my husband and suggested that maybe we call my MIL to look after Parker and head to the hospital. He leaped out of bed called his Mum and got dressed. I phoned the midwife to let her know that we were on our way. She asked me to stay home a little longer until I was having three contractions every ten minutes or at least one every four minutes.

I hung up the phone not feeling comfortable with the idea of staying home longer. I felt things were progressing and fast. The next two contractions were five minutes apart. I called her back and said that I was anxious and didn’t want to stay home any longer. She told me to come in but to take my time getting there. I waited for another contraction to pass and then I attempted the walk to the car. As I left my bedroom door a wave of pain stretched across my tummy that crippled me, with me ended up on the floor, unable to move. My husband then carried me to the car. I started to sweat and feel unwell and then proceeded to vomit. We were on our way.

The whole car ride I was completely silent, continually telling myself every pain is a step closer to meeting our baby and every bump in the road is a step closer to getting to hospital.

We arrived at the hospital and I had no idea how I was going to make it up to birth suite. I asked my husband to get me a wheelchair. As I sat in the car I kept telling myself that my body knows what to do, but I was also loosing control of my breathing. He arrived back shortly with a wheelchair. I was in two minds, I wanted to go in but I also didn’t want to move.

I shuffled into the wheelchair and we made our way to birth suite. I stayed in the wheelchair until they were ready to examine me. As I climbed onto the bed, I pleaded for an epidural. The midwife went through the risks and the fact that it can end in intervention but at that time I felt like I was loosing control and the thought of the unknown scared me. I started to doubt whether I could do it without pain relief. She said she would have to wait to determine whether I was in active labor first. There was no doubt in my mind that I was.

They listened to babies heart rate and with every contraction it was dropping quite low. They asked me to move positions and she hit the buzzer for another midwife and Dr to come. She told me that my baby wasn’t happy when I was contracting. So many questions and thoughts ran through my mind but I was speechless. Unable to talk. I just lay there praying that everything would be ok. She then called someone else into the room and proceeded to examine me. I was fully dilated. Her words, ‘well you won’t be getting that epidural your full dilated’. Complete shock ran through my body! I looked over to my husband in utter despair. How on earth could I get through this without an epidural.

The midwife then broke my waters, as baby was showing signs of distress and they wanted to start the process faster. As the waters trickled down my legs, I told myself that this pain was a small price to pay for a baby and I needed to remain focused and in control as there was nothing else I could do. I had hopped onto this roller coaster and whether I loose control or not, I can’t jump off until the ride stops.

They then handed me the gas. Best thing ever. It regulated my breathing and allowed me to focus on listening to my body. With every contraction I breathed as deeply and slowly as I could, while squeezing the crap out of my husbands hand. I was so unsure as to how long this process was going to take. With the next contraction my body started to push. The feeling was surreal and I was unsure whether I should push along with my body. With the next I felt her head come down and then move back. Every time my body pushed, I felt a sense of relief. The next contraction I pushed with my body and her head came down and stayed. It was a bizarre feeling knowing that the pressure and object I could feel between my legs was my baby. With the contraction next her head was out. I couldn’t believe that I was so close to meeting my baby girl and I had done this. That my body guided me through the whole process. The next contraction took a little longer and the midwife asked me to start pushing early. Not long after I started to prematurely push, my body contracted I gave it my all and she came out. She was here and it was all so surreal. Just as quick as the pain came it was gone again and I had a warm, beautiful gooey baby laying on my belly. I looked up at my husband, he kissed my head and we stayed staring at her on my chest. I laid there in shock that my baby girl was here healthy and happy and in awe of what my body had just done. It was such an amazing and magical experience. One that I will never take for granted.

Welcome to the world Layla Elizabeth.

Easter is an occasion that always makes me happier. I mean is there anything cuter than seeing babies and kids dressed up as little bunnies (don’t think so.) Not to mention the chocolate (little solid Easter eggs are the best!)

However since having Parker, Easter is a little less about chocolate and more about small gifts, traditions and spending time together. Trying to think of non chocolate ideas can be a little tricky.  So, I decided to put together a blog full of ideas for your little one this Easter.

Here are my must have Easter picks this year. If you see something that you like simply click on the link and you will be directed straight to their website.

Happy Easter Beauties xx

This is a little basket that I put together just in case my littlest love decides to make an early appearance and also because I love a good basket full of goodies.

Sadie Baby T Bar Shoes – http://www.sadiebaby.com.au

Jamie Kay Cardigan-  http://www.monkeymoo.com.au

Grey Jelly Cat from CMC Gold – http://www.cmcgold.com.au

Baby Noise Wooden Egg Shakers – http://www.babynoise.myshopify.com

Wooden Cat Stacker – http://www.happygoducky.com.au

Some more non chocolate Easter ideas that support small business.

Zilvi Easter Plaque

Love Tildy Bunny Puzzle

Little Pine and Co Bunny Teether

Indi and Arrow Bunny Bonnet

Bekaboo Easter Basket

Zilvi Easter Plaque – http://www.zilvi.com.au

Love Tildy Bunny Puzzle – http://www.lovetildy.com.au

Little Pine and Co Bunny Teether – http://www.littlepineandco.com

Indi and Arrow Bunny Bonnet – http://www.indiandarrow.bigcartel.com

Bekaboo Easter Basket – http://www.bekaboo.com.au

Being comfortable in my own skin has always been something that I have struggled with. Every time I looked in the mirror, I looked for an imperfection or something that I could change. Every photo I took of myself, I would always find something I didn’t like about it. My jaw line when I smiled, the wrinkles forming near my eyes, my big forehead and the list goes on. Instead of focusing on the positive things that I liked about myself, I feed my mean girl and drowned in negative comments. Don’t get me wrong, that still happens now but once I see something negative, I now try and back it up with something positive about myself.

There is always something that people want to change. Bigger boobs, smaller thighs, no freckles, olive skin, smaller nose. But, do you think that even if you could change everything you wanted about your body, would you still be happy? Or would there always be something else that you would want to do to your body or want to change.

For a long time I wanted a smaller bum. I wanted to feel good about wearing a bikini and not feel the need to hide in shorts. A year after I had Parker my bottom somehow shrunk (may have been from all the sleepless nights and swapping food for caffeine.) So now that my bum was smaller, I would feel good about wearing a bikini, right? Wrong. My bum was smaller but so were my breasts and every time I put on a bikini I felt like a man. I began to think, is the list ever going to end. If I get a boob job, would I then feel confident or is it more about the way I hold and view myself, than the way I actually look in the mirror.

I’ve decided to try and work on not comparing my body and instead nourishing and complimenting all the things that it has achieved. After all, when I am in my final days of this life, am I really going to be thinking about how I should have tried harder to get that amazing physique or still worrying about my frown lines. I think not. Life is all about the uniqueness that you as a person brings to this word. Some of the most beautiful people I know in this world still have flaws, but their kindness, outlook on life and the way they hold themselves is far more beautiful than any perfectly physiqued person.

Beauty should never be restricted to a particular body shape. Beauty should not be looked at as something that we can grasp, it should be viewed as something within. It’s about the way you speak, hold yourself, your warmth and charisma.

It’s important to see the beauty that you withhold and know that you are beautiful, even if you don’t fit the world’s stereotypical sense of beauty, whatever that is!

xx